Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
