I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
