She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
