I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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