3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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