they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He did a backflip because drugs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
