It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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