We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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