I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
