gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
