I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
