come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
soo... how was my night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
