i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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