mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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