Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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