im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
