Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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