To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
