If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
