So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
