this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
