There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This baby is an asshole
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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