How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
