Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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