i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
