ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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