so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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