I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
