dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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