Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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