Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
