What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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