no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Two words: blizzard sex
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
