We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
