i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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