um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
