I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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