My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
