ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
