It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
