I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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