Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
