Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
