i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Shame - the story of my life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize