Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
this is an emotional support booty call
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
