saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we're making bets on your personal life
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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