I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize