it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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