I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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