your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
now i know why i became what i already was.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
