Small penises have feelings too.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
