Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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