I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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