I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize