How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize