i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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