he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
