I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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